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Tuesday, February 15, 2005
The Iraq election

Now that the results are out, we must join the US Hebrew Gog (anag.) in rejoicing. But do they tell us anything? The principal beneficiaries are the Shia (or Shi’ites, as they’ve sometimes been called. I can’t think why). A more appropriate title might be ‘Flagellants’; sometimes they beat themselves with chains; often, they scourge themselves until the blood runs. Making Iraq safe for masochists has to be a major triumph. (Such practices were, I believe, banned under Saddam Hussein.)

Besides this magnificent achievement, the election has a great deal of import for the West in general and for Airstrip One in particular. Well known for the masochism prevalent in its public (i.e. private) schools, the whole sector should therefore be paying close attention.

British public schools are hotbeds of beatings of all varieties, administered sometimes by teachers, sometimes by senior pupils. Watch carefully, Wykehamists at al; you’ll be able to learn a thing or two from these extremely enlightened thinkers from the US Hebrew Gog’s democratic Nirvana: post-Saddam Iraq.

Of course, the religious zealots of ‘Middle East’ persuasion have, for thousands of years, been chopping bits off people. I refer in part, of course, to the divinely inspired practice of circumcision. (If man is created in God’s image, why interfere with humanity in this way?) Then there’s Sharia Law that involves stoning women (not men) to death for adultery and amputating the limbs of thieves.

If Airstrip One’s public school sector can learn something from the Shias, then the whole Iraq adventure will not have been in vain. For a start, let’s introduce flagellation with chains here, shall we?

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