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Friday, February 11, 2005
Bliar’s new pledges

I have just received, by the usual underground channels, a document that will be of great interest to everyone interested in Airstrip One’s political process. It is not unconnected with the pledge cards that Bliar is dishing out round the country, ahead of the announcement of the next election.

My sources have sent me a faux pledge card; in fact, it’s a bit more than that: it’s a list of things that didn’t make it on to the card. Here they are
No more wars
No more licking the Hebrew Gog’s arse
Increase in top rates of tax to make income tax more progressive
No referendum on the Euro – we’ll just join, anyway
No more money for faith schools
No more privileged positions for religion
Abolition of the monarchy
Death penalty for users of ringing mobile phones...
Here, hang on, this sounds suspiciously like my manifesto, to be published shortly. And if people think that joining the Euro without a referendum would mean losing the trust of many Britons, what do they think happened over the Iraq war, (no pledge to go to war, if I remember rightly), declared in the face of public opposition and on the back of highly suspect 'evidence'?

As these are all policies that have ended in Bliar’s waste bin, I don’t think he’ll be getting my vote.

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