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Friday, September 12, 2003
On the Wayne

A day or two ago, I had the occasion to watch, on television, some of the football match between England ('Nation of Shopkeepers' - © Napoleon) and Liechtenstein ('Nation of Zurich Gnomes' - © Josh). I found myself offended by the contributions offered by the small, noisy, 'musical' group that invariably 'accompanies' the English supporters and I had to abandon watching/listening.

Their unmusicianly and inaccurate rendering of 'The Great Escape' is insupportable. If you don't believe me, get a proper recording of the piece. When you see (hear) the difference, you'll find that you have to turn the sound down or leave the room next time these clowns perform.

As an alternative, you could turn your mind to other more creative thoughts. Did you, for example, know that there were at least two players called 'Wayne' (Bridge and Rooney) in the England team? One has to find this an extraordinarily stupid name. It's homophone (wane) means, among other things, 'to disappear or decrease in power'. I'll bet the idiot parents who named their sons thus weren't aware of this. Fancy labelling your kid 'Impotent'. Would anyone consciously do that? So, where did the name Wayne come from?

Was it perhaps from the big tough guy John Wayne (1907-1976)? Were the ignoramuses who fixated on him aware that his real name was Marion (sic) Morrison? Big tough guy, eh?

Why aren't people given sensible names any more? You know, like 'John'? Oh that reminds me, I'm just off to the loo...

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