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Tuesday, June 10, 2003

Europe and the Euro

You will have noticed, Mrs Trellis, that I had a brief respite from blogging last week, taking a short visit to Paris. While there, I was greatly afflicted by blogsickness so I had to rush back to ensure keeping you in complete ignorance of what I was doing there. (It had something to do with masochism, if you must know.)

First of all, I was quite delighted to have to change sterling into euros and back again - what could be more sensible? If we did not have to make our individual contributions towards exchange profiteering plus commission, how else would we waste our money? On bingo or the lottery, I'd be bound. Such frivolity.

I arrived back to find the debate about Europe in full swing. It should be obvious why we should have as little to do with Europe as possible. Gordon Brown's economic tests are so irrelevant and trivial that it falls to me to summarise the real arguments against the euro, Europe, and all things European.

If God had meant us to have anything to do with the continent, he would never have given us
the Channel (La Manche)

the Queen's head on our currency and stamps

the Mail, the Telegraph, and the Murdoch press

an aversion to garlic

an affinity with Donald Rumsfeld

an instinctive desire to join nafta and

a resentment of European cultural imperialism. I mean, look how they've stolen all our best stuff: Chateau Lafite, Leonardo da Vinci, Picasso, Beethoven - the list is endless.
Let me be quite clear that these are carefully thought out arguments. Not for me the lies and spinning of the faceless men of Brussels and their traitorous English colleagues (Chris Patten is the worst). I really love not being part of the silly European nonsense. No good will come of it; you mark my words.

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