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Sunday, March 30, 2003
The last 'Friday Five' for a while

My last two postings have been received in true, reverential silence - spiritual shock and awe, you might say. This has emboldened me to give answers to the current set of questions. When I have finished these, you will know all there is to know about me or, rather, all I am likely to tell you.
1. What was your most memorable moment from the last week?
Hearing that Oom Qasr had been liberated for the third time in four days. Being liberated several times is so much better than being liberated once, don't you think?

2. What one person touched your life this week?
My good friend Richard Perle has shown that he has learnt true humility. Captain Oates-like, he sacrificed himself for a greater cause. I hope that he will be able to rise above this nonsense from Mr Smallweed in the Guardian dated 29 March:
This Richard Perle: it's said he has now resigned his prestige chairmanship but that's not going to shut him up. Could he not be cast before swine - preferably before swine with particularly vicious trotters?
I am deeply touched by the suffering of this noble man. There is no need for cruel remarks of this sort.

3. How have you helped someone this week?
I think I may have helped someone to understand just a little about the concept and use of irony.

4. What one thing do you need to get done by this time next week?
I need to write a letter of appreciation to Donald Rumsfeld and ask him to let poor, nice Tony Blair off the hook.

5. What one thing will you do over the next seven days to make your world a better place?
I shall move about freely among my fellow human beings, and let them carefully touch the hem of my garments.
There - that is all I am going to tell you about myself, for the moment. I do hope that you will appreciate that a person like me must necessarily maintain an element of mystery.

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