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Monday, February 17, 2003
Where the Sun shines...

According to today's Grauniad briefing
A comedy sketch showing the Queen breaking wind has been axed from a TV ad for Comic Relief. Royal lookalike Jeannette Charles was shown munching Walkers' new baked bean flavour crisps then letting rip.
Apparently, the story is on page 3. I hope that you will understand my not soiling my hands, browser software etc but here's the link (I think). It reminds me of something I was told in confidence by a retired sea captain many years ago.

A friend of the old sea dog's had been a senior engineer on the royal yacht Britannia. One day, this engineer had cause to do some work on the sewage pipe coming from 'The Royal Throne Room’. As it happened, HM the Q had just been ensconced in that vital communing room.

The engineer removed an inspection plate from the pipe and fished out an item which he then coated in many coats of varnish and mounted on a board. My recollection is that he took it home and kept it on his mantelpiece. It isn't everyone who can claim to have one of the Queen's turds as a souvenir, is it?

Perhaps the story, like that from The Sun, is apocryphal. Nevertheless, it makes the point that toilet functions are a great leveller. If ever you are overawed or intimidated by anyone, imagine them in the khazi with their trousers/knickers round their ankles.

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