Josh's joshings     'The buck starts here'  Josh

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Tuesday, November 19, 2002
 
Clarkson

As part of my preparations for going to Australia, I have been tying up a few loose ends in the UK. My horse Hector is in fine health and I have been taking him for a good gallop whenever I get the chance. However, I always try to exercise him with a purpose and I thought of an interesting project in which to involve him.

A few weeks ago, the incredibly naff Jeremy Clarkson conducted some experiments on defeating radar-operated speed cameras. This ‘test’ was broadcast on the BBC’s Top Gear programme. On a test track, (even JC is insufficiently macho to try this on the public highway), using a variety of cars, it was established that it was necessary to drive at 171 m.p.h. (274 k.p.h.), or faster, to beat the camera. How very interesting...

Being constitutionally unable to adapt to much modern technology, the car included, I though it would be appropriate to conduct a similar, environmentally friendly, experiment with Hector. We have therefore been galloping at high speed past every speed camera in the vicinity. I have seen the flashes go off in almost every case and I have been sitting here, twiddling my thumbs, awaiting the summonses. None has yet arrived.

When discussing this with a legal friend, I said that the law would have to catch me first, in more ways than one - I shall be away for an extended period. My legal friend pointed out that, as Hector is not readily identifiable, the forces of law and order would be hard-pressed to find me. He's quite right so I shall not be publishing Hector's picture on the internet.

Mrs Trellis has told me that Josh's joshings could be much improved by the inclusion of pictures. I hope to be able to add digital images while I am in Australia, if I can master the technology. However, you know what these backward colonial countries are like so I may not succeed. More of this anon....


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